endure something i cannot
January 5, 2005 Leave a comment
Don’t know why I became so cynical. Everyday I feel uncomfortable with everything I meet.
They talk too much. They seem to forget it is in library.
They talk too loud. They seem don’t know some persons who are fond of silence can still be found in this planet.
They don’t response. They are numb. They are bugs. They are everything. Everything I hate.
Shit. What more could I say. Can I blame them? Of course not. I don’t see enough reason to blame them. I am part of them.
Just like a person who sits at a chair wants to lift that chair at the same time.
Fine. It is okay. I can endure everything here. It is alright to me.
What I cannot endure is what happened last night.
As usual, we finish our movie in dormitory at part of it. Tiring of boring movie, Chen Peiyang and I went to bed first. Later that Cambodians get inside the room. They kept talking loudly, besides they are eating something. Hello, I just wanted them to know in the same place some people’s sleep should be paid respect too. They didn’t. The talking started at bathroom first. They seemed so unsatisfied with the narrow space there. They come out, living the light from bathroom directly shinning on my face. One more Cambodian joined their talk by moving into my room. Shit. It is this word I kept saying in my heart. At that time, I can hear all the sound from those guys. Chewing something, regularly laughters, and unrecognizable stupid sound. Or sorry, I forgot something, they even put some English words between their talk. Trying to showing something to us, maybe it is better English than mine.
I felt so shame I didn’t say anything about that. As I mentioned before, I could not ask them to stop talking unless I didn’t do same thing before.
I hate voice yet I hate to be left alone. It is this complex made me compromise to what I cannot endure when I am studying, eating, or sleeping.
Isn’t this the stupidity of human being? You always want something you are not worthy holding.